searching the extrodinary in something ordinary

Friday, March 21, 2008

You know its been a long time since i really sat down and bore my soul. Not that i really know where my soul has been lately. Been pretty melancholy (to put it nicely instead of saying depressed) lately. Sounds romantic even, dang if only i have a man in my life right now. Anyways been listening to some oldies lately. ABBA and beatles ha ha ha. I only know a few beatles songs. But yesterday i heard this one which really caught me. I dunno about the rest but i barely listen to songs because of the singer but more of how the song catches my fancy. So anyways here goes "Here comes the sun" by beatles.

Just makes me feel so serenely happy listening to it. I think i am an old soul. But then again i love new music too. I think if i had the chance to have learned music when i was younger i'd probably be doing music now. I feel so jealous of those that had music education. But thats life i guess. Live and let live. But i have to be thankful that at least parts of my life has been good. I think if compared to some i'd be considered spoilt. So i try not to take things for granted.

Its funny how i'd turn out to be an engineer when i really love dance and music and arts. But i guess loving it and making a living out of it is always different. But i think perhaps it still works out for the better coz i think now i have to ability to persue it given of course i dont loose the plot.

Anyways been about 3 months since i started work. I anticipated but nv thought what a difference working life can be. Lately i feel that what i thought i knew, eventhough is true i still cannot imagine how it effects me. Its just strange living it out than having it all in ur head. Its different. Some stuffs happen sooner than i thought and some not quite yet. And relationships with people have been turned pretty upside down. I have to say i have been lucky to have met some great ppl and avoided most of the time the bitchy, vicious, petty types. I wouldn't say i have met them on full force now. But then when i was in uni well i pretty much didnt really have to deal with it if i didnt want to. I mean its just more of a let them be kind of thing. But when u are in an enclosed and small area for like 9 hrs a day 5 days a week. Well not much place to run. But then its not really as bad as it sounds la. Just sometimes i blow things out of proportions in my head sometimes. But then again i do realize there toxic ppl in companies that just makes u feel so ughhh and like they say things that just make u feel bad. Perhaps they get a kick out of it. Which when i think about it is really sad. Them that is

I have someone that kept asking me why am i laughing all the time and if i have some personal dilema and one that keeps reminding me i am not as pretty as the hottest gal in the office. I try not to give a shit. But there is just so much a sane person can take. Sigh, time to face up to reality and deal with these toxic ppl i guess. But i try not to give a shit and just be better. Coz deep down i know that i am better than that.


At 6:39 PM, Blogger Y4nG said...

i dunno how many times i wondered bout the engineering career till now... its a chinese choice kua


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