This is going to be a rather vague post. Its just in general things that are swimming around in my head........so bear with me. I think for now this blog isn't going to make sense to anyone. But i am too lazy to start a new one so que sera sera. Till i really get my butt to write about something more exciting and interesting just ignore me.

I think for this couple of days i happen to have put certain things into perspective in my life. I see things clearer now that i manage to make sense and piece together the puzzle of what i couldn't make sense of before. But there is still more work in progress to understand things, as there are still things which puzzles me. And by putting things into perspective the good things is certain things don't upset me that much anymore. They still do, but not to a paralyzing effect. I am learning to let things slide. I think why let things upset you when you can walk out there and say "Hey I am going to do my best to be happy". Cliche as it sound, they say you've got a choice to be happy or sad. So why not choose happiness. i used to tell myself, its just the way u look at things. Well i think i happen to have forgotten that advice. Hey how come no one repeated that back to me. I thought i was famous for always saying that. Oh well. I hope I am coming back stronger and better. Now i am hopeful and determine. *Motivational talk to self. Throw in some war cry* ke ke ke. So i am better than that, don't let the little things pull me down. Look at the bigger picture. Some things are just not worth fretting over. Try your best. And love yourself.

A while back i happen upon the knowledge of a guy named Randy Pausch and his last lecture. It was a lecture he gave when he knew he was a few months away from his own mortality. I don't remember how or where i found out about this but i told myself that I would like to watch this as it is on youtube and it was suppose to be thought provoking. Time pass and that thought drifted into the back of my head. But recently i felt that i needed some perspective on life as i seem to have fallen into a dark cloud. Somehow I was reminded of this. And so now i am watching this hour plus lecture. I am only 2 minutes in and i already find him inspirational. And i think i'd like to share this with others as well. So here is the video

I am currently very exhausted. I had tons of things running through my mind that i wanted to blog about, but all has evaporated as usual. I have resolved to bring along a mini diary to write my thoughts down whenever they do pop up but i have yet to have done so. And i think my sentence structure at the moment clearly shows that my brain can barely piece together a decent flow of sentences. But i want to blog anyways. They say practice makes perfect. So i am doing something practicing. very long nv write essay alr oh. Ignore me. I am just rambling.....

Its a Thursday and i am here sitting at home cause i am out of commission. I have been down with this damn flu for a few weeks and its kinda scary to be sick for so long. Especially since i barely do get sick. So i went to the doctor again for the 3rd time and he gave me some more meds and an mc for the day. So here i am taking things easy and just resting. Hopefully i get my health back quickly, because i have so many things i want to do and being sick makes it less enjoyable. Especially when i only have 2 more weeks or so before Michelle leaves again. As it is with Rae things were kinda rushed as well. Why u guys have to go so far! and why plane tickets have to be so exxy. If not i will gladly fly over to spend the weekend with u. Sigh being emo.

And i can't wait to hit the gym full force to get rid of the many pounds i have gained. I have originally wanted to start since the christmas weekend but the flu has absolutely crippled my efforts. So much for trying. So far i have only went for 2 jogs or so and a yoga class. Hope things pick up and start rolling soon. New yr, gotta start packing in those must dos!

i want to write again. A year ago i told myself i wanted to jump back into writing a blog regularly but it doesn't seem like i have kept that resolution. I have tried but failed. But now i am going to try once more. I think it doesnt matter even if i write irrelevant things just as long as i keep writing. But i do wish i have a common topic to guide me.

So a new yr has arrived and the funny thing about new years are that somehow once the final day of a year has passed, it seems as if everything starts of with a clean slate. Life starts again and new resolutions are made. It doesn't matter if the ones u made last year was not met. Perhaps u might have felt like a failure for not meeting that resolution. But once 1st January hits everything is alright and we start anew and make our resolutions again promising that this year we will definitely stick to it. Well there is always hope.

I finally finished a book recently and started a new one today, although i still have quite a few half read books lying around. Sometimes i feel sad for these books left neglected and forgotten. But for a while i was wondering how come reading seem to feel so much like a task. Sometimes i happen to buy book because they are cheap and there are many an odd title lying around in my house now. Not necessarily the most main stream of titles. I mean books are books right? You still get entertainment reading words made to form a story. Or so i try to tell myself. But today i rediscover the beauty of a good book and how it draws you into it as if you are living a different world in a different time every time you open the book and plunge into it. I devoured the book so hungrily and it was only the author's foreword. I anticipated every next sentence to draw me into the world of the author. There you can find respite from the real world if only for a moment and perhaps imagine yourself in the shoe of the story's character.

Sigh once again i have lost the plot. And to think i was all set and gung ho to write up a storm. But instead i went missing for almost 4 months. And i even promised to blog about my birthday celebrations with piccies and all. Well time seem to have a way of catching up with us don't they. Well its time to find inspiration again and start blogging. Taking more pictures and posting it. I shall not be lazy. But for today i shall slack a while more and just click publish on this short and simple meaningless post just to break my long absence. Lets hope the momentum will continue rolling.