searching the extrodinary in something ordinary

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Its been a long time. I am back i guess. Sort of. Rae i know i promised u a letter or an update. Well letter will be coming anyway sometime soon ha ha ha. So where have i been missing? What do you mean missing? I have been here all the time. Its just that the world disappear. Ok there is an explaination for the silence. You know how kids when scared close their eyes and thinking that no one else can see them as well? Well i think if i dont talk about things then they will not exist. Call it denial, call it avoidence i think as far as i am concern it works, since whatever it is that troubles me is out of my control anyways. All is well after the storm blows through and at the same time it doesnt hurt to not acknowledge the storm. And then when i dont talk, i dont talk at all. Don't laugh , but i think i am such a guy. I think I am quite hopeless. But like they say, things seems worst in the darkness so i am riding it out till the sun comes out. Things are looking better now. So that is that.

So its the year end again. I can't help but feel like stomping on imaginary breaks to slow the damn thing down. The second half of the year felt oddly like a ride down a steep hill at break neck speed. I like that chinese new yr is coming soon but hate that the yr is coming to an end in less than a months time. Can someone tell me when this madness of an F1 ride stops. I feel like i am growing older in the speed of light. Soon i will be old an wrinkly and asking where have my yrs gone. Maybe I should stop and smell the roses. Anyone can teach me how? OK ever the drama queen, but not really. I still think the guy that came up with the Click movie is absolutely spot on at least with me. Sometimes i anticipate a given date that i sort of auto pilot throught the remaining days that lead up to it.

So what else is new. I can bake a loaf of bread. But it still turn hardish the next morning. Its softness only last a day. My cake is still much to be desired. I finish making a set of beaded chocker and bracelet which i think looks nice. I am finishing up my left half hanging taiwanese drama. I finished reading some of the left half hanging books. Most importantly i am reading up for my thesis, got some stuffs up but still needs more work. And i am anticipating some periodic job so i can get paid enough to last me through this month and subsequently have steady trickle( and i mean trickle not gush. maybe one to two) so as to have enough money to last me the months ahead while i work on my thesis. So i have to say so far my live is fairly satisfying. I manage to work on some of the thing i want to do. Though there are tons more that i still havent gotten to. I know there is such a freaking huge room for improvement. But I have to work on that i guess. Thats all for now. Till later.