searching the extrodinary in something ordinary

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

I have been finding writing to be a chore lately and that probably added to the reason i gave for updating in the previous post. I look at all the assignments and report that i have to churn out and a feeling of apprehension seem to just engulf me. Not to mention how it is with the class that forever is able to productively mass produce words for a living and hand up assignments which can at times be as thick as your common text books. I have to say that for some time now that my self esteem have been somehow slowly been eaten away that at one point or another i become a bag of jangled nerves just thinking of the type of quality work which they will produce that i am not able to live up to. And here i am sitting and knowing full well that this is an unhealthy state of mental health that i have somehow acquired. But simply i am putting too much unnecessary pressure on myself. But truth be told, I don't think that in the first place this pressure which i am piling on to myself is anywhere close to helpful in making me the next class genius because the only thing that it has been able to do is make me want to run away more. But the only thing that has been holding me in place is the stubborness that insist that you have gotta face it whether you like it or not. I guess that has to be attributed to my taurus star which claims stubborness as my quality which maybe i might thank my lucky stars for one day.