You know what. My concentration is an absolute mess. I was staring at this page of chinese words and even as i might be able to make out most of the words some how i find it so troublesome to do so. But at the same time i really wish i could continue learning to recognize them. And i was also suppose to learn Japanese and at the same time do research for my journal paper. Some one tell me how to concentrate. I want to learn alot of thing but my concentration is my absolute down fall.

So anyways, rant aside today i got myself out of the house to attend a briefing for this ushering job which i applied for online and got. Pays 50 for 3 hrs of work. Now doesn't that sounds good. I know it sounds risky being online and all but i dunno, sometimes i think we need to take calculated risk. Turns out for the good i would say. It is a legitimate event company and perhaps meaning more future jobs? Not that i plan or hope to need to work long in events as good as the pay might seem to be. But as far as i am concerned i will probably start looking for jobs after the graduation ceremony. ( Some sort of time frame that i set for me to bum till) But at the mean time, it does not mean that i will get a job or even find one that i like tat quickly so side income is good. So there at least my dry spell kinda lifted a little, even if the money is only a trickle. I am probably fortunate i still live under my parent's roof. I am thinking however though will there be a day when i decide to move out, and not because i am getting married. When i was younger i actually anticipated it, but then things changes, conditions changes and many different thoughts ran through my mind about this. Not something that any one person other than myself will ever understand. Those monsters in my closet. Part of me still yearns to while part of me is afraid. I hope that i will manage to find an answer to my problem very soon. Sometimes i wish to be able to live a little more carefree and leave those millions of considerations behind. Pssst... let u in on a secret, one of those is regarding family. You know there was one person which when i heard went off to singapore for work caught me slightly by surprised. (oon ee would know who i am talking about) But then again i could absolutely understand how that happened and perhaps i do not know the whole story behind it but i can imagine what might have conspired. And i salute her. Looks like i havent really started a new chapter of my life after all. I am still hovering on the ending page of my previous chapter.