The hours and the days passes so quickly that there sometimes just doesn't seem to be enough time to take a deep breathe. But when you do u find yourself having only blinked for a second and completely missed the connecting train. There are so many things to be responsible for that I feel I could never fully deal with everything at one go. Yet to stagger things would only mean that there us a possibility you are going to miss one thing as time still continues moving. ppl continue growing older. Oportunuties continue to come and pass. Perhaps the idea is to always make full use of the time Tat you have and really just do the best that you can every single moment that you spend doing something instead of being half assed or not do it at all

Back online. Trying out this thing on iPhone. I need to plan more structured blogpost for the other blog and just check in here more often

So i am back here once more, starting what i have kept stopping over and over again. I am suppose to be blogging in min-azad.com but i haven't in a long time. I am not good at doing something consistently. I wish i was. I am easily distracted, and easily messed up. Perhaps i will make this my emo page for now. Because that page is meant for something less deep and dark. I have to start digging my brain's for ideas once more as i have abandon my artsy fartsy streak to be more realistic. Scary thing is it no longer scares me. Growing up means living out the things which you promised urself will never happen to you or struggling hard to keep them at bay. I might be loosing the battle

This is going to be a rather vague post. Its just in general things that are swimming around in my head........so bear with me. I think for now this blog isn't going to make sense to anyone. But i am too lazy to start a new one so que sera sera. Till i really get my butt to write about something more exciting and interesting just ignore me.

I think for this couple of days i happen to have put certain things into perspective in my life. I see things clearer now that i manage to make sense and piece together the puzzle of what i couldn't make sense of before. But there is still more work in progress to understand things, as there are still things which puzzles me. And by putting things into perspective the good things is certain things don't upset me that much anymore. They still do, but not to a paralyzing effect. I am learning to let things slide. I think why let things upset you when you can walk out there and say "Hey I am going to do my best to be happy". Cliche as it sound, they say you've got a choice to be happy or sad. So why not choose happiness. i used to tell myself, its just the way u look at things. Well i think i happen to have forgotten that advice. Hey how come no one repeated that back to me. I thought i was famous for always saying that. Oh well. I hope I am coming back stronger and better. Now i am hopeful and determine. *Motivational talk to self. Throw in some war cry* ke ke ke. So i am better than that, don't let the little things pull me down. Look at the bigger picture. Some things are just not worth fretting over. Try your best. And love yourself.

A while back i happen upon the knowledge of a guy named Randy Pausch and his last lecture. It was a lecture he gave when he knew he was a few months away from his own mortality. I don't remember how or where i found out about this but i told myself that I would like to watch this as it is on youtube and it was suppose to be thought provoking. Time pass and that thought drifted into the back of my head. But recently i felt that i needed some perspective on life as i seem to have fallen into a dark cloud. Somehow I was reminded of this. And so now i am watching this hour plus lecture. I am only 2 minutes in and i already find him inspirational. And i think i'd like to share this with others as well. So here is the video

I am currently very exhausted. I had tons of things running through my mind that i wanted to blog about, but all has evaporated as usual. I have resolved to bring along a mini diary to write my thoughts down whenever they do pop up but i have yet to have done so. And i think my sentence structure at the moment clearly shows that my brain can barely piece together a decent flow of sentences. But i want to blog anyways. They say practice makes perfect. So i am doing something practicing. very long nv write essay alr oh. Ignore me. I am just rambling.....

Its a Thursday and i am here sitting at home cause i am out of commission. I have been down with this damn flu for a few weeks and its kinda scary to be sick for so long. Especially since i barely do get sick. So i went to the doctor again for the 3rd time and he gave me some more meds and an mc for the day. So here i am taking things easy and just resting. Hopefully i get my health back quickly, because i have so many things i want to do and being sick makes it less enjoyable. Especially when i only have 2 more weeks or so before Michelle leaves again. As it is with Rae things were kinda rushed as well. Why u guys have to go so far! and why plane tickets have to be so exxy. If not i will gladly fly over to spend the weekend with u. Sigh being emo.

And i can't wait to hit the gym full force to get rid of the many pounds i have gained. I have originally wanted to start since the christmas weekend but the flu has absolutely crippled my efforts. So much for trying. So far i have only went for 2 jogs or so and a yoga class. Hope things pick up and start rolling soon. New yr, gotta start packing in those must dos!